Sunday, May 8, 2016

ENGLISH VERSION, KILIGMANGA series, ACTION HERO, Part 9: When Villains Are Not Really Cute, Not Even Popular!, STARRING KathNiel & LizQuen

The Pinoy teen film "Diary ng Panget" immediately became a big hit when it was released in the so-called Asiatic film "pirate sites" on October, 2014. At first, the Villains thought the Cute Pinoys just got lucky for once but it turned out the lucky streak became sustained. They started to get nervous when another Pinoy teen film (She's Dating The Gangster) also became a hit when it was released on New Year's Day 2015 in a Spanish site (Cineasiaenlinea): the Pinoy teen stars shone from October, 2014 well into early 2015 though there were only a handful Pinoy films which were shown in these so-called Asiatic film "pirate sites" (we now know there is nothing pirate about these sites, they are propaganda sites) but the good-looking Pinoy teen stars, relatively unknown because of the limited Pinoy films allowed to be shown, easily stood out and stole the limelight from the usual Asiatic fare which has started to bore the still marginal community despite years of free Asiatic films. Most of the patrons of these free pseudo-pirate sites are young people budgeting their limited allowance that's why they were targeted by the Villains in the first place. According to the theory of the Villains, this is part of a social engineering project designed to change the standard of beauty from the previous Western one to the Oriental- Northeastern Asian Mongoloid, to be exact, where the Villain type is supposed to be the "prettiest" (for whatever reason- probably because of the popularity of Plastic Surgery there?). Through propaganda, they were aiming to condition these young people to appreciate Villainous beauty so that they will grow up believing it is the standard of beauty from which the world will measure everyone else. 

 Oh-oh... Stop! Don't laugh! We know it's so laughable but the Villains and their co-delusional cohorts are actually serious. Believe it or not! 

 How can they become the new Standard of Beauty when the kids were already openly expressing they were long fed up with their faces? To the big dismay of the Villains, they realized their ridiculous social engineering project was turning out to be a mere delusion. And to their panic, the sudden appearance of the Cute Pinoy stars, long shielded from view because of the limited number of Pinoy films allowed to be shown, became the definitive proof that the REAL best-looking faces from Asia have arrived...

MR. NOT CUTE: Our plan to become the new Standard of Beauty in the future is endangered now. We are on our way to change the parameters... we should soon be the new Standard of Beauty... but the deadbeat Cute Pinoys are destroying everything!
CHIEF COHORT: Why should they be so cute? They should have been us, Big Boss.. we wouldn't have come out looking like ridiculous thick-face wannabes pretending to be the most beautiful when we were obviously not!
MR. NOT CUTE: You moron!... you too?... You weren't fooled also by our propaganda? You should fool yourself we are the most beautiful! WE ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL!!! We will soon become the new Standard of Beauty in the world!!!
CHIEF COHORT: But, Big Boss.... the Cute Pinoys are already making us eat dust in Asia... how can we even be the new Standard of Beauty in the world?
MR. NOT CUTE: You are really stupid, you dimwit!!!... What do you think of the Cute Pinoys...  that they could eclipse us just like that? There may be nothing more that Plastic Surgery can do to help us... but we can always sabotage. SABOTAGE! Did you hear me? SABOTAGE!!!
Meanwhile, the Cute Pinoys were so tickled pink to learn that the world found them cute.


Smiles galore all around... little did they know that the glistening claws were starting to clench in the dark...


VOICE-OVER:  Wow, did you hear that... what for is Diversity if they could be the Standard? ... Standard of Beauty? ... or should it be... Standard of Horror? 
BWA HA HA HA HA


TO BE CONTINUED

5 comments:

  1. It would have been so hilarious if it were not so pathetic... But you're right... Bwa ha ha ha

    ReplyDelete
  2. Replies
    1. It's .... Vomit blues

      Delete
  3. The most hilarious social engineering project ever

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ha ha ha sa totoo lang kawawa naman sila

    ReplyDelete